This Floating Poo Was Way Too Meaningful! It's the TV Disappointments of the Year.
As we consider the TV landscape of the recent year, a handful of shows emerge not for their excellence, but for their spectacular shortcomings. Ranging from cringe-inducing sequels to bafflingly poor docuseries, here are the productions that left us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.
And Just Like That
Where to begin with this love/hate spin-off? Plagued with woeful writing, painful arcs (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show struggled to find its footing. For a moment, as the final season started, it looked like it had finally found its groove. Then came an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner declared this would be the final series. It concluded on a bum note; the lingering shot of Miranda’s loo flooded with poo was just way too symbolic. Still, viewers certainly found joy picking apart every single “wtf?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a little sob?
The Kim Kardashian Drama
‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? Of course she can’t.’
But that was almost the smallest of this drama's issues. The subject of a very rare zero star assessment, it was difficult to know where to start enumerating the flaws. The laughably leaden dialogue? The mind-numbing glorification of affluence and materialism? The seemingly deliberate procession of cliches? Acting so bad they felt borderline malicious? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and forget about this series again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.
The Charlie Sheen Documentary
Given the restraining orders, domestic violence allegations and fatherly shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d truly have known it from this multi-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless excess while failing to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being indulged, so any sympathy this show might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charismatic but flippant egotist.
The Iris Affair
Naturally we understood it was ridiculous from the outset: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely reacted when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.
The Gangster Drama
Dodgy figures meeting in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.
In truth, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a little dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to accommodate unconvincing dialects. But there were many other issues. Primarily that it was just profoundly boring; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various London picaresques which felt a bit basic.
With Love, Meghan
Considering the extent to which she grinds the gears of certain performatively angry commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised ventures into twee lifestyle as intentional provocations. But then you view them and are compelled to concede that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue animated; a meme for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, Hallmark sayings and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by vast, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.
Victoria Beckham
There are clearly fascinating things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, identity, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this documentary series opted not to explore them. Rather, the experience was akin to consuming a marketing brochure. She obviously has good reason to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any favours with this cagey non-event of a series.
The Inheritance
It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even camper, with a famous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality managing her estate. What more could you ask for? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s still too complicated to explain what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up smelling of a programme that was straining desperately to live up to something way beyond it.
Too Much
How do you follow a show that captured a generation? The expectation was enormous for this starry romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very glossy and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity cameos involved felt uncomfortable.
Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping
Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.
Given the shrewd recruitment of gifted younger comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a one-note joke milked to a husk but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.
The Knox Dramatisation
This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be treated sensitively. Instead, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lumbering from strangely breezy, slightly mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A total mess? Absolutely.
Prime Target
We love the star … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could ruin society? No! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services targeting – and killing off – intellectuals frankly got more absurd by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.
1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story
This hagiography followed the online personality renowned for explicit exploits as she prepared for her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was way more examination of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who showed up to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and zero interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.
